Archive for the ‘Men’s Health-Erectile Dysfunction’ Category


Friday, October 29th, 2010


Thursday, April 9th, 2009

The kind of freak one chooses to be will express unconscious fears. For example, men who harbor feelings that they are monstrous letches will dress that part. Women who have buried fears that they are evil witches will don the familiar witch’s hat and wield a broom. By dressing up like the freaks they unconsciously fear they are, that part of their personality, formerly repressed, will be allowed to surface.

Making love, either in a hotel room or at home, will be an enlightening experience. They will not only be confronted with actually being the freak they fear they are, but also with making love to the freak they fear the other is. It will lead to interesting sex—and an equally interesting change in how they feel about themselves and their partner. To confront the freak within us is to stop projecting that freak on others!

Note: To enhance the effect of this game, participants should not only dress the part but also act it with conviction.



Thursday, April 9th, 2009

However, this brand of volleyball has two distinct twists. First, it is played in the nude. Second, the players are allowed to try to distract one another’s play by reaching under the net to fondle the other’s genitals while the opponent is trying to make a play. If you can arouse your opponent to such an extent that he or she misses a ball, great. If both become so aroused that they forget about playing entirely and fall to the floor in heated passion (perhaps popping the balloon on the way to the floor), that’s even better.

This game circumvents in several ways the hysteric’s aversion to sex. First, it takes the pressure off of her to have sex with her husband: Instead of trying to persuade her to have sex, he invites her to play a game. Second, it bypasses her resistance to sex by veering her toward Eros indirectly, through play, as well as by appealing to her competitiveness toward men (generally a component of hysteria). Third, as mentioned earlier, it fosters a spirit of play (or, as we used to say, of “good, clean fun”), taking the experience out of the realm of sexual exploitation or disgustingness—which, on a deeper level, is where the hysteric places it.



Thursday, April 9th, 2009

She guides him to a sofa or bed, sits beside him, and tousles his hair. “There now. Just lie back and let your godmom-my take care of everything.” She lays him back. “Yes, I’m here. Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll save you. Your fairy godmom-my will save you. Do you like your fairy godmommy?” She sits up and wiggles sensually. “Sure you do,” she coos sexily. “All little boys like their fairy godmommy! Now, you just relax. That’s a good boy. Relax.”

The fairy godmother may now try one of several approaches, depending on the nature of the husband’s depression and whether he is in on the game. She may try the understanding approach, holding his hand and giving a prepared speech that utilizes things she knows about him. “You need someone to talk to. Somebody who’ll really listen, who’ll really listen perhaps for the first time in your life. Somebody who’ll really be there for you, and hear all your complaints—no matter how stupid or asinine. All your life you’ve been looking for that certain person, that certain woman who would recognize your specialness and soothe all of life’s unfairness. When you were a boy you used to fantasize about a fairy godmother like the one who rescued Cinderella, who would discover you and take you away with her to a magic palace. When you were an adolescent you used to fantasize that your English lit teacher would find you and soothe you and make love to you. When you were in college it was your American history teacher. I’m all of these in one, and I’m here at last, ready to hear you and care for you and make love to you as you’ve never been made love to before. But first, tell me everything that’s troubling you.”



Thursday, April 9th, 2009

Players: Interrogator and confessor. Activists: Both husband and wife. Setting: Home or hotel.

Aim: Using nakedness and erotic touch as a “truth serum.”

Game Plan: The husband and wife lie or sit facing one another on a bed or sofa. They are naked. They take turns being the interrogator and the confessor.

The designated interrogator reaches out, fondles the genitals of the confessor, and asks, “Do you like that?”

“Yes, I like it.”

“Do you want me to continue?” “Yes, please continue.”

“Do you want me to stop?” “No, don’t stop.”

“Tell me one truthful thing about myself that you’ve never told me.”

“I can’t think of anything.”

The interrogator stops fondling the confessor.

“Please don’t stop.”

“Then will you tell me one truthful thing about myself that you’ve never told me?” “Yes.”



Thursday, April 9th, 2009

These kinds of games do not lead to any resolution because they are linked to fixations in childhood and are in actuality defenses against intimacy. These defenses were developed on the heels of traumatic events. A three-year-old girl, for example, will discover that she has a vagina and that it feels good to rub her fingers (and other things) against it. She runs to her father and says, “Daddy, look at my vagina!” If the father has a block against sexuality, he may reply, “Don’t do that. That’s dirty.” Or he may become sexually exploitative. Or he may just make a face. Anything that he does, and does repeatedly, will then affect the girl’s sexual development.

Such a little girl, when she grows to adulthood, may form a narcissistic pride about her vagina and her sexuality as a defense against her father’s and other men’s scorn or exploitation, and her sexual relations as an adult will become blocked. Her father’s original scorn or exploitation of something that she thought was so normal and natural remains as a scar in her psyche. She will always be a bit fearful of men, anticipating their scorn of her vagina and her sexuality; and she may even suffer from a form of sexual disorder. Her sexuality will be compulsive and defensive, a ritualized act serving to defend against scorn or exploitation—which to her translates to a repudiation of her whole self. If a person has a fixation, he or she retains the unconscious primitive fears that engendered the fixation.



Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Another element germane to the homosexual picture is that of narcissism. Freud once commented that the homosexual is often so intensely narcissistic that he cannot love a being that is other than himself, that is, a being without a penis (in the case of the male). The narcissistic wish often expresses itself as the substitute for oedipal strivings, that is, once the homosexual has identified himself with his mother, he begins to behave as he had once wished his mother to behave toward him. This leads to a choice of libidinal objects such as men or boys who are quite similar to the individual himself and toward whom he then expresses the same sort of tenderness and affection that he had once desired from his mother. While he acts out the maternal identification in this way, emotionally the narcissism plays itself out insofar as the love object is like himself and the psychic situation is equivalent to one in which he is able to enjoy being loved by himself. This particular dynamic may prevail when male religious are in charge of young boys, or females in charge of young girls. This is particularly noteworthy for young adolescents in whom the resolution of gender identity has not been completed and the titre of homosexual impulses runs high.

Often when such narcissistic elements are predominant in the genesis of homosexuality, the character structure tends to be more primitive and pathological. It should be noted that similar mechanisms can be found in heterosexual individuals as well, when narcissistic men fall in love with a woman whom they see as a reincarnation of their own feminine wishes and yearnings. This relates to their own wish to be treated as a little girl by their mothers with results similar to those found in homosexuals, that they then treat these women as they themselves would have wished to have been treated by their own mothers. Consequently, the love relationship is not based on an objective love of the feminine partner as a separate entity in her own right, but rather as a reflection of the repressed feminine parts of the man’s own ego.

Certain types of character organization show a tendency or a need to give to others what they did not get themselves and are able to gain the satisfaction of “getting” through an identification to the one to whom they are giving. This is a form of “altruism” in which certain pleasures that the individuals cannot have themselves may be given to others and relished through an identification with these others. But the wish to give and the affection for the other is often intensely ambivalent and mixed with extreme degrees of envy, which may turn into rage and resentment if the one given to is not as pleased as the giver expects him to be.

The identification with the mother may also be mixed with other pre-genital components, including an anal fixation. The oedipal wish for sexual gratification from the mother is transformed through the identification into a wish to enjoy it in the same way that the mother does. This dynamic makes father the object of the child’s love and leads to a masochistic striving to submit himself to the father in the way that the mother does, in a passive and submissive way. The anal fixation in these cases combines with a maternal identification in the wish for anal intercourse. While patients of this sort may behave in a feminine way with passivity and tenderness, these aspects of their behavior may mask unconscious hostility toward the very father figures to whom they are submitting. In such cases the passive submission to the father or father-substitute replaces a more unconscious intention of stripping the father of his masculinity so that homosexual intercourse can begin to signify active castration.

In this sense, these apparently feminine and passive men have not at all given up their unconscious striving to be masculine and to replace their father. By becoming the feminine part to a more masculine man, they thus can gain the strength and masculine power of the partner. Thus, the retreat from castration anxiety in the feminine identification does not completely replace the wishes for identification with the father. The wish to be like the father, to learn from him, to gain strength and resourcefulness and power by being more like him is always ambivalent, since its ultimate aim is in the oedipal context to replace the father. Once the child places his father in such a position of power and omnipotence, he may try to regain some sense of strength by sharing in the father’s power. The tension remains between the extremes of killing and getting rid of the father in order to take his place, and total obedience and ingratiating submission so that the father will grant the son a share in his power and strength.

It should be remembered that narcissistic and passive-anal fixations may occur in the same individual and may express themselves in various combinations in different forms of homosexuality. It should also be remembered that the same dynamics may exist in apparent forms of heterosexuality. Not uncommonly the excessive involvement in heterosexual activity serves as a defense against passive and narcissistic homosexual longings. In situations in which these homosexual inclinations are excessively stimulated, such individuals may be severely threatened and may experience an overwhelming anxiety which has been described as “homosexual panic.”



Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Most people do not question their own or others’ established gender identity and role as male or female. They are readily accepted at face value. What is said and done by men and women in different societies varies and may overlap, since dimorphic norms of gender role are culturally and historically determined. But once an individual’s identity and role as a male or a female become differentiated, they remain stable and are unlikely to be shaken even by major crises in life, physiological, social, or accidental.

The greater proportion of gender identity/ role differentiation takes place after birth. It develops on the basis of prenatally programmed sex differences in body morphology, in hormonal function, and in central nervous system (CNS) function, but is not preordained or preprogrammed in toto by prenatal determinants. Prenatal antecedents lay down a predisposition to which postnatal influences are added. A prenatal defect, skew, or bias may be either augmented or counteracted by postnatal influences.

The dimorphism of gender identity/role as male or female begins with the genetic dimorphism of the sex chromosomes, ÕÓ for the male, XX for the female. It is followed by the differentiation of the gonads with H-Y antigen on the Y bearing sperm governing the differentiation of the testes. Fetal hormonal functioning then programs differentiation of the internal reproductive anatomy, and the external genital morphology. Then follows differential sex assignment at birth, rearing as a boy or a girl, and differentiation of the childhood gender role and identity. The differentiation process is continued through the pre-pubertal and pubertal phase with, in adolescence, a sexually dimorphic response or, more accurately, threshold of response manifested in erotic attraction, falling in love, courtship, mating, and parenthood.



Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

The industrial revolution pulled out thousands of women from behind the hearth and crib and forced them into the labor markets of the budding capitalist economy. Women’s participation in national economy has changed their social roles. The privileged role of provider which was the backbone of the traditional, male-dominated family structure began to crack, and currently it is heading toward an unprecedented crisis (Ackerman).

The erosion of the traditional male-female relationship took place first in the lowest and then in the highest social classes. The middle classes have been the notorious bulwark of conservatism, and Freud’s patients came from highly conservative, middle-class families in which fathers exercised absolute power and penis envy was probably an almost general phenomenon among Freud’s female patients.

The current family constellation has deprived the father of his authority but has not replaced it by any other. One cannot help wondering what is going to happen in our times to the Oedipus complex, latency period, and the whole area of male-female relationships. Modern women have destroyed the myth of their intellectual inferiority and denied, in vivo, the assumption of either cherub or witch personality (Wolman).



Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

The question of how sexuality influences the development of personality has become a central focus for many clinicians, investigators in the field of human behavior, and developmentalists. It has become more important during the last three or four decades, as the role of early experiences in the final shape of the personality has become better understood. It also has been recognized that early individual differences among infants have a lasting effect throughout life (Escalona).

The civil-rights movement of the sixties, started by black Americans and other oppressed minorities more conscious of their conditions and seeking to remedy them, renewed interest in the nature of the social forces influencing the development of personality. Investigators were impressed by the devastating impact of isolation, poverty, and chaotic family situations.

In the seventies, women and those with different sexual orientations, such as homosexuals, began to examine sexuality within the culture and to re-examine some of the accepted concepts of the development of both normal and pathological sexuality. They questioned particularly the stereotypic definitions of what is masculine and what is feminine. This in turn stimulated research on the roots of sexuality and sexual identity from the cultural, psychological, biological, and developmental points of view. In addition, clinicians began to examine the causes of atypical gender-identity development among their child patients. All this research activity still has not settled the controversy over the role of sexuality in personality development but has greatly softened some of the rigid and dogmatic attitudes towards sexuality.



Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

The experience of orgasm by the female has been variously valued, even during the present century. Kinsey, for example, commented on the “post-Victorian” development of the idea that respectable women should enjoy marital coitus. Even so, he cited a 1951 study which found evidence in the British working class that responsiveness in the wife was hardly expected and if too marked, was disapproved. Kinsey’s research suggested to him that orgasm was not nearly as important to the female as it was to the male. Without orgasm, she could still feel pleasure in the “social aspects” of a sexual relationship: “Whether or not she herself reaches orgasm, many a female finds satisfaction in knowing that her husband or other sexual partner has enjoyed the contact and in realizing that she has contributed to the male’s pleasure”. Even so, “persistent failure of the female to reach orgasm in her marital coitus, or even to respond with fair frequency, may do considerable damage to a marriage”.

About 36% of the married females in Kinsey’s sample had never experienced orgasm from any source before marriage. By contrast, over 99% of the late adolescent male samples were responding sexually to orgasm more than twice a week. While almost all marital intercourse of his male sample resulted in orgasm, the average female reached orgasm in only 70% to 77% of her marital sexual experiences. The longer the women were married, however, the more likely they were to experience orgasm. For example, the percent of females who never had orgasm in marital coitus decreased from 25% by the end of the first year to 11% by the end of the twentieth year. Likewise, the percent of those having orgasms more than 60% of the time increased from 51% in the first year to 64% in the twentieth.

In addition to length of marriage, some factors which were strongly related to occurrence of orgasm in Kinsey’s sample were decade of birth and premarital experience in orgasm, whether through coitus, petting, or masturbation. For example, 33% of women born before 1900 were unresponsive in the first year of marriage, compared to only 22% of those born after 1909. As for experience, no factor showed a higher correlation with the frequency of orgasm in marital coitus than the presence or absence of premarital experience in orgasm. Among those women with no premarital experience of orgasm, 44% failed to have orgasm during their first year of marriage. Among those with even limited experience only 19% failed to reach orgasm in the first year.

Neither the Hunt nor the Redbook data can be directly compared with Kinsey’s figures, since neither is broken down by length of marriage. Hunt did, however, compare his females with fifteen-years-median-duration of marriage with Kinsey’s females in their fifteenth year of marriage. Of the Kinsey wives, 45% reported having orgasm 90% to 100% of the time, compared to 53% of the Hunt wives who had orgasm “all or almost all of the time”. Of the same Kinsey group, 12% never had orgasm,,, compared with 7% of the Hunt group.

Figures for the Redbook sample show that 63% of these wives have orgasm all or most of the time, 7% never. These data are more recent than Hunt’s and as we have noted, the sample consists of younger, more educated individuals, all of which could account for the higher orgasmic figure.

Hunt collected some interesting data on the incidence of orgasm among married men. Contrary to Kinsey’s assertion that married men achieved orgasm in nearly 100% of their marital coitus, Hunt found that 8% of the husbands aged forty-five and up did not have orgasm anywhere from occasionally to most of the time; 7% of the men between twenty-four and forty-four did not have orgasm at least a quarter of the time; and 15% of the under-twenty-five husbands failed to have orgasm a quarter or more of the time.

Kinsey’s stress on the relationship between length of marriage and sexual responsiveness in his married sample was challenged in part by Clark and Walfin. Proposing that women’s responsiveness is influenced by the quality, not just the duration, of their marriages, they did a twenty-year longitudinal study which began with 1,000 engaged couples, 602 of whom were studied after a “few years” of marriage, and the 428 remaining couples again after sixteen or more years of marriage. They found a strong relationship across time between positive ratings of the quality of the marriage and sexual responsiveness. Sexual responsiveness increased from 65% to 91% among those wives who rated their marriages as positive, and from 61% to 69% among those rating them negative. The authors suggest that increased responsiveness does not inevitably follow as a function of length of marriage, but rather is interdependent with the perceived quality of the marital relationship.



Monday, March 30th, 2009

If we were to offer some friendly advice to men who are focusing on this aspect of the surgery, it would be this. Think about what’s really important! The primary goal here isn’t to preserve potency, but to get rid of the cancer in a careful but thorough way. Please keep that in mind. Men can remain potent even if one bundle is removed, and can still have normal sensation, sex drive, and orgasm even if both bundles are removed.

There is no way for the surgeon to know for certain beforehand whether or not the bundles can be spared; only during surgery is it truly possible to see where the cancer is. If the surgeon decides to preserve the nerve bundles, the tiny branches that connect the nerves to the prostate are divided carefully. If, however, one or both bundles must be widely excised, the nerve bundles are cut near the urethra and beside the rectum.

Next, the surgeon goes to work on the prostate, making a cut to separate it at the bladder neck, which links the bladder to the prostate. The seminal vesicles and vas deferens on both sides are also removed. The goal here is to remove as much surrounding tissue as possible along with the prostate. Finally, the surgeon must carefully rebuild the urinary tract, hooking up the bladder once again to the urethra and urethral sphincter, which is responsible for urinary control (this reconnection is called an anastomosis). The surgeon uses sutures, or stitches, to narrow the bladder neck so it matches the size of the urethra. The Foley catheter is left in place after the operation.



Monday, March 30th, 2009

On the other hand, the benefits of watchful waiting aren’t that clear for younger men with localized disease—men who probably could be cured if they act in time. The biggest disadvantage here is patient is being watched. If you are in otherwise good health, have localized prostate cancer, and a life expectancy longer than ten years.

Which form of treatment is best for your There are two good choices – radical prostatectomy and radiation therapy.

Radiation therapy’s great advantage is that not surgery . Therefore, it’s an ideal form of treatment for men who are older, or who have cancer that is too advanced to cure by surgery. The big advantage of radical prostatectomy is that there is no better way to completely eliminate cancer that is curable. The best candidates for radical prostatectomy are men who are young enough and healthy enough to live.



Monday, March 30th, 2009

A better question might be, “Which treatment is right for me?” There are several important considerations here: Your age and overall health, the stage of cancer, the side effects associated with different treatments, and finally—most importantly—your own wishes.

When prostate cancer is localized in men with a life expectancy of 1o years or more, the goal for treatment is cure. This sounds obvious, until we remember that when prostate cancer is advanced, cure is no longer an option. In other words, if we don’t remove the disease or treat it effectively when it’s localized —if the cancer gets outside the prostate—we can’t stop it.

The big advantage of radical prostatectomy is that there is no better way to completely eliminate cancer that is curable (see above). The disadvantages are the side effects—namely, the risks of impotence and incontinence. And radical prostatectomy is not “a walk in the park.” It is major surgery, and the body must be in strong enough shape to handle it.

Radiation therapy’s great advantage is that it isn’t surgery. But its major disadvantage, especially for the younger patient, is that its ability to control the cancer may not last forever. Many studies have suggested that with standard radiation treatment—external-beam therapy—there is a strong likelihood that a prostate biopsy a few years later will be positive. These studies have also suggested that the likelihood that PSA will be in the undetectable range ten years after radiation is only 10 percent. In contrast, a large study at Johns Hopkins showed that the likelihood of PSA remaining in the undetectable range ten years after surgery was 70 percent.

In choosing the treatment that’s best for you, it’s important to try for a balance between effectiveness and side effects. More information on each of these choices follows in this chapter, and the next chapters cover these treatments in significantly greater detail.



Monday, March 30th, 2009

Now is the time for some plain speaking, so here goes: At the top of this list should be men who are too old or too ill either to undergo the rigors of treatment or to live another ten years—long enough for such treatment to be worthwhile. Also in this group should be men who don’t want to experience the side effects associated with “definitive,” or curative treatment; men who are diagnosed with stage T3, T4 or N+ (C or D) disease who don’t yet have symptoms; men whose prostate cancer is truly incidental and not yet something to worry about (some men with stage Tia or Ai cancer, and men with stage Tic disease who have low Gleason scores and low PSA densities.

The advantages of watchful waiting include its initial freedom from side effects and, at first, the financial break—it’s the cheapest option because there’s no expensive treatment to pay for.

Watchful waiting doesn’t mean “do nothing,” and it doesn’t mean your doctor has written you off—it means you get treatment for specific symptoms when you need it. This can mean hormone treatment or spot radiation to ease bone pain; it can mean a TUR or other procedures to bring relief when the prostate cancer becomes large enough to obstruct the urinary tract; it can mean a host of options aimed at tackling specific problems, prolonging life and easing pain.



Monday, March 30th, 2009

How do you know if you have prostate cancer? Don’t wait for symptoms to show up, because for early prostate cancer, there aren’t any. By the time a man has noticeable symptoms of prostate cancer, it’s probably too late to cure it. To make matters worse, all of prostate cancer’s symptoms can be attributed to other causes. That’s why the American Cancer Society recommends that, after age 50, men undergo a yearly digital rectal exam and take a yearly PSA test, a blood test that measures levels of PSA (prostate-specific antigen), a key enzyme made by the prostate. Men at higher risk—men who have a strong family history of prostate cancer or who are of African-American heritage—should begin this testing at age 40.

PSA is prostate-specific, not cancer-specific. You can have prostate cancer and still have a low PSA level; about 25 percent of men with prostate cancer do. And, just because you have a high PSA does not necessarily mean you have prostate cancer; many men with high PSA levels don’t. It just means that you have some sort of prostate trouble— maybe BPH, maybe prostate cancer, maybe an infection—and that you should see a urologist to find out what kind of problem you have.

No treatment decision should be made on a lone PSA reading. PSA’s partner in diagnosis must be a digital rectal exam, and then, if either is abnormal, ultrasound and biopsy should be performed. Together, the rectal exam and PSA can do far more than each tactic alone.



Friday, March 27th, 2009

It’s usually younger boys and girls who ask these sorts of question. When we first heard questions like these, we have to admit that we were a bit shocked that boys and girls who were so young seemed to be asking questions about whether they were ready for sex. However, when we talked further with the very young boys and girls who asked these sorts of question, we realized that the reason they were asking them was often because they had very mistaken ideas about physical intimacy. Some of them seemed to think that kissing or being physically close in other ways happens almost as soon as you get involved with someone, or at least very

quickly – perhaps even before you’ve had a chance to get to know each other. Some seem to think that going on a date means you have to, at the very least, kiss the person goodnight or perhaps go further. Some even seem to think that having a boy-friend or girl-friend automatically means that you’re going to have sexual intercourse with that person.

These things just aren’t true, but it’s easy to see how a young person could get these mistaken ideas. In the books we read, it often seems as if two people no sooner meet than we turn the page and find them madly kissing each other. In the films it sometimes seems as if two perfect strangers no sooner look at each other than the next thing we know they’re having sex. Or on television programmes two people will be going out on their first date in one scene and in bed together in the next!

In real life things don’t usually happen quite like this. In real life a romantic relationship usually goes through several steps or stages of physical closeness before things get to the point of having sexual intercourse, if indeed the relationship ever goes that far. In real life it usually takes at least some time before a relationship ever gets to the point where two people are having intercourse. Moreover, in real life many romantic relationships, especially the ones we have when we’re young, never do get to the point of having sex. In fact, many relationships never go beyond the holding hands or goodnight kiss stage, if they go even that far.

So please don’t be confused by what you read in books or see on TV or in films. Going out or having boy-friends or girl-friends doesn’t mean that you have to have sex or kiss or even hold hands. Above all, remember that when it comes to romance and sex, you’re in charge and you don’t have to do anything that doesn’t feel right for you.



Friday, March 27th, 2009

Crushes is yet another topic that always comes up when we talk about the kind of sexual and romantic feelings young people may have during their growing-up years. Having a crush means having sexual or romantic feelings towards a certain, special someone. Many young people develop crushes. Having a crush can be very exciting. Just thinking about or catching a glimpse of the person you have a crush on can brighten your whole day and you may spend delightful hours imagining a romance with that person.

Sometimes young people develop crushes on someone who isn’t vey likely to return their affections – a film star, a rock singer, a teacher, another adult or a friend of an older brother or sister. This sort of crush can be a safe and healthy way of experimenting with romantic and sexual attractions. These crushes are ‘safe’ because, no matter how much we may pretend otherwise, deep down we know that this unattainable person won’t really return our affections.

So we don’t have to worry about real life problems like what to say or how to act. And, because we’re making it all up, we’re free to imagine things turning out the way we want them to, without worrying about whether that person will like us back. In a way having a crush on someone unattainable is a way of rehearsing for the time in our lives when we will have a real romance.

But having a crush on someone unattainable can also cause a lot of suffering. One year some of the girls in our class developed crushes on a certain rock star. They plastered their bedroom walls with posters, wore badges with his face printed on them, pored over fan magazines, and generally had a great time sharing their feelings about him with one another. When the rock star got married, they were, naturally, somewhat disappointed, but one girl was more than disappointed. She was really upset. She had become too involved in her crush and the rock star’s marriage was devastating for her. If you find yourself developing a serious crush on someone unattainable, it helps to remind yourself from time to time that your crush isn’t very realistic and that this person isn’t very likely to return your affections.

Not all crushes are unrealistic. You may develop a crush on someone near your own age who you actually know through school, church, temple or some other group. If that person is interested in you, the crush can be especially exciting. But yearning after a person who doesn’t return your affections can be painful. If you find that your crushes are causing you problems, it helps to find someone – a friend, a parent, a teacher, another adult or a counsellor-with whom you can discuss your feelings.



Friday, March 27th, 2009

Most males are born with two testicles. Every once in a great while someone is born with only one. Sometimes a man or boy could have an injury or accident that could crush one testicle so badly that it has to be surgically removed.

If a man has only one testicle, the other testicle takes over for the missing one and produces enough sperm so that he’ll still be able to make a woman pregnant. His sex life and everything else about him will be completely normal.

What is an undescended testicle?

Before a boy is born his testicles are up inside his body. After he is born, they descend (come down) into his scrotal sac. Sometimes one or both testicles don’t descend and then the boy has what doctors call an undescended testicle. (At times, cold weather, a cold bath, excitement or extreme physical activity will cause one or both of a boy’s testicles to retract, that is, to draw up close to his body, for a while. But this is a temporary condition. It’s not the same as an undescended testicle.)

No one knows what causes an undescended testicle, but doctors do know how to cure it. Sometimes the doctor can use medicine to make the testicle descend; at other times it’s necessary for the boy to have an operation.



Friday, March 27th, 2009

This is another common STD, which can cause symptoms similar to those caused by gonorrhoea. The information on gonorrhoea also applies to chlamydia. Females are even more apt to be asymptomatic (without symptoms) with chlamydia. Like gonorrhoea, untreated chlamydia in females may lead to PID, infertility and other serious medical problems.

Genital herpes-This STD is caused by a virus known as herpes virus type II, or HV-2. The chief symptom is painful, blister-like sores in, on or around the sex organs. There may also be pain on urination, fever and flu-like symptoms. Genital herpes is incurable – that is, there is no medication that will rid the body of the virus. However, a person doesn’t always have the sores; they go away on their own, usually in, at most, a couple of weeks, but the virus remains in the body. It retreats deep into the body and usually comes back to the surface from time to time, causing new outbreaks of sores. A person can pass the disease during an outbreak and also for a period of time before and after an outbreak, so herpes sufferers must take special precautions to avoid passing the disease to others. Genital herpes is serious because there’s no cure and because having the disease increases a female’s chances of getting pre-cancerous and cancerous conditions of the cervix (the lower portion of the uterus which protrudes into the top of the vagina). Women who have genital herpes should have a cervical smear test every year to detect any changes in cells. If a woman has an attack of genital herpes when she is due to give birth, she might have a Caesarean section.



Friday, March 27th, 2009

How effective a method is at preventing pregnancy is another important consideration. No method is 100 per cent effective. People sometimes become pregnant, even after sterilization, though this is rare.

However, there are some methods-the contraceptive sponge, the rhythm method, spermicidal pessaries and spermicidal creams and jellies when used alone (without a cap or diaphragm) – that aren’t very effective even if a person always uses them exactly according to instructions. For this reason, these methods should not be used by people unless they really wouldn’t mind if they became pregnant. These methods are not recommended for people who absolutely don’t want to become pregnant.

With the exception of the methods we just mentioned, the other methods listed in the contraception chart are quite effective, provided they are used properly and consistently. How effective these methods are depends on two things: on the method itself and on the user of the method. Most of the time, unplanned pregnancies are a result of the fact that people have failed to use their methods properly or at all. Even when people use their methods absolutely correctly, unplanned pregnancies can still occur because sometimes the method itself simply fails to do its job. For instance: a woman might ovulate despite the fact that she took her pills on schedule; a diaphragm might become dislodged during intercourse; a condom might break or leak, allowing sperm to get into the vagina; and so on.



Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

By the age of 15, nearly 100 per cent of boys have masturbated (and, as one commentator has said, those who haven’t are liars!). The proportion of girls who masturbate is lower in each age group, but in recent years the proportion is increasing.

It is now accepted by all but a few fearful people that masturbation is a normal sexual outlet and an important sexual learning process, and the anxiety that masturbation will lead to moral or physical decay has declined. Despite this, many adolescents who masturbate feel guilty because they fear that their parents will punish them, and because of inaccurate memories of the dangers of masturbation as discussed by their peers in whispered conversations. The myths which surrounded masturbation have been largely discredited, but they still cause anxiety and guilt.

Despite our knowledge that masturbation is healthy, and that nearly all people masturbate, most people are still ashamed to let it be known that they masturbate. When asked they become reticent and defensive. They are reluctant to tell their friends, lovers, or mates. This is an example of the way in which a normal pleasurable activity has been debased by societal condemnation.