She guides him to a sofa or bed, sits beside him, and tousles his hair. “There now. Just lie back and let your godmom-my take care of everything.” She lays him back. “Yes, I’m here. Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll save you. Your fairy godmom-my will save you. Do you like your fairy godmommy?” She sits up and wiggles sensually. “Sure you do,” she coos sexily. “All little boys like their fairy godmommy! Now, you just relax. That’s a good boy. Relax.”

The fairy godmother may now try one of several approaches, depending on the nature of the husband’s depression and whether he is in on the game. She may try the understanding approach, holding his hand and giving a prepared speech that utilizes things she knows about him. “You need someone to talk to. Somebody who’ll really listen, who’ll really listen perhaps for the first time in your life. Somebody who’ll really be there for you, and hear all your complaints—no matter how stupid or asinine. All your life you’ve been looking for that certain person, that certain woman who would recognize your specialness and soothe all of life’s unfairness. When you were a boy you used to fantasize about a fairy godmother like the one who rescued Cinderella, who would discover you and take you away with her to a magic palace. When you were an adolescent you used to fantasize that your English lit teacher would find you and soothe you and make love to you. When you were in college it was your American history teacher. I’m all of these in one, and I’m here at last, ready to hear you and care for you and make love to you as you’ve never been made love to before. But first, tell me everything that’s troubling you.”


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